Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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