hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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