Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
