I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
