How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
