I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
