As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
