My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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