Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Too much gin, very little bucket
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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