Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
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