I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
