He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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