Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize