if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
