Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
