he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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