Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
