a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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