i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
