I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
