How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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