so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
