There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
