there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
