i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize