That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
