i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
