Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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