i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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