Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
