Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
