The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize