the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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