I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
