Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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