New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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