Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
