mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
try to milk me bitch
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
