I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
