Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I want a musical about memes.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
