thus making me awesome and them whores
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
