Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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