You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
