I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
