I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
