Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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