yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
