I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
