the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
