so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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