I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize