Where is the hickey?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
