Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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