and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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