You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
How does it feel to date your dad?
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
