apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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