my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
wow bdsm is so cute
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