So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
