my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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