My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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