Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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