i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
