I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
