Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
