the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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