And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
