I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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