names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
