Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
