we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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