Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
NoShamevember. You game?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
