Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
