Don't make out with my wife yet
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
